The beginning is the hardest part. Not because it's complicated — but because it means you actually have to sit down and start writing. Nobody looks forward to putting together their speech. That is a universal truth.
But here's the good news: the opening of a wedding speech has a formula. It's the easiest part to get right, and once you nail it, the rest of the speech flows naturally. Let me show you exactly how to do it.
The #1 Mistake: Not Introducing Yourself
You would be amazed how many people grab the microphone and just launch in without telling anyone who they are. Suddenly 200 guests are sitting there playing detective instead of listening to your words.
"Is this a relative of some kind?"
"Is this an old friend or a recent one?"
"Is this someone who possibly stumbled into the wrong ballroom?"
It takes five seconds to fix, and it's the easiest part of the entire speech because how hard do you have to work to come up with this? Tell them your name and your relationship to the person you're toasting. That's it. The whole crowd relaxes because now they have context for everything that follows.
"I'm Louise, Cara's aunt on her mother's side, and we've been close since she was a little girl."
"I'm Jake, Ben's bunkmate for seven summers at camp."
"For those of you who don't know me, my name is Rick, and I'm the best man. I first met Charlie when I was in third grade."
Your Secret Weapon: The "How We Met" Story
Once you've told the crowd who you are, the most natural next move is to share how you first met the person you're toasting. This is gold. A good "how we met" story does three things at once: it establishes your connection, it tells the audience something about the honoree's personality, and — if you pick the right story — it gets an early laugh.
At my friend Ryan's wedding, I told the story of meeting him at our college orientation. When we were all eating breakfast in the dining commons, I noticed this guy eating a bowl of dry cereal. And next to it, a cup of milk — with ice in it. Not cereal with milk like a normal person. Dry cereal and a separate cup of iced milk. I thought, "This guy might be weirder than me. I gotta meet him."
One image. One moment. And the crowd immediately understood exactly who Ryan was. That's what a great "how we met" story does — it tells volumes about the person in just a few sentences.
If it's a family member, think about your earliest memory of them. Maybe your consciousness came to when your older brother found it hilarious to tickle you until you couldn't breathe. Starting with this "way back" perspective sets you up nicely to move forward through the speech.
Should You Start Funny?
If you can, yes. An early laugh relaxes everyone — including you. But the key word is can. If humor comes naturally to you, open with something that gets a chuckle. If it doesn't, don't force it. A warm, genuine opening is infinitely better than a forced joke that lands with a thud.
When I gave my best man speech at my friend Charlie's wedding, I opened with: "I'm so happy to be here to celebrate the wedding of Harley and Rachel. Sorry… Charlie and Rachel. Whatever, you know who I'm talking about." It's a small, easy laugh that breaks the ice. Nothing fancy. Just a quick signal to the crowd that says, "Hey, we're going to have fun here."
What you want to avoid is opening with a canned joke you found on the internet. "Webster's dictionary defines marriage as…" No. Stop. If you Googled it, so did everyone else. Your opening should feel like you, not like a template.
Get Someone to Introduce You
Here's a tip most people never think about: before the event, ask if someone is going to introduce the speakers. Normally, someone other than the honoree — the DJ, the wedding planner, a family member — will get up and say something like, "Okay, everybody! It's time to hear from some special folks."
This does you a massive favor. It settles the crowd down and gets them ready to listen. If you go it alone out there — clink, clink, clink on your champagne glass while people are mid-conversation — it's not going to be pretty. You'll spend the first 30 seconds of your speech just trying to get people to shut up and pay attention.
So ask ahead of time. It's a small thing that makes a big difference.
What NOT to Do in Your Opening
A few opening moves that will tank your speech before it even gets started:
Don't apologize. "I'm not really good at public speaking, so bear with me." You've just told 200 people to lower their expectations. They were rooting for you — now they're bracing for something painful.
Don't over-apologize for being nervous. Being honest about your nerves can actually work in your favor — admitting vulnerability gets the crowd on your side right away. But there's a difference between a quick, charming acknowledgment ("I've been dreading this moment for six months") and a full paragraph of self-deprecation that makes everyone uncomfortable. Keep it brief, keep it light, and move on.
Don't start with a cliché. "We are gathered here today…" You're not the officiant. "What a beautiful ceremony…" Sure, but that's not an opening, it's a placeholder. Get to the good stuff.
Don't read a quote you found online. If your opening line is something that appears on a decorative pillow at HomeGoods, cut it.
Step 1: Introduce yourself and your relationship to the honoree. (5 seconds)
Step 2: Share the story of how you first met. (30-60 seconds)
Step 3: If you can, make it funny. If you can't, make it warm and specific. Either way, make it yours.
That's your first minute. From there, you're into the stories — which is the fun part.
The Hardest Part Is Starting
Here's a trick my co-author Carol and I both use when sitting down to write is the last thing we want to do: tell yourself you're going to write for fifteen minutes only. After that, you're free to stop. The funny thing is, neither of us has ever gotten up and bailed after fifteen minutes. Once you sit down and start, you'll be surprised that it's not as horrible as you imagined.
So open your laptop, set a timer, and just write your introduction. Your name, your relationship, how you met. That's it. By the time you've finished that, you'll be rolling — and the hard part will be behind you.
Know How to Start But Not Sure What Comes Next?
The opening is the easy part. It's the middle — the stories, the jokes, the stuff that makes people laugh and cry — that separates a forgettable speech from one people talk about for years. That's where an Emmy-winning comedy writer can help.
Get Your Speech Written → Starting at $349 — written personally by Rick Mitchell