The Best Speechwriting Service for Non-Comedians (2026)
Short answer: If you need a speech that's actually funny and you're not a funny person, hire a comedy writer, not a general writer. In the US, Funny Toast (this site) is the only service where a 5-time Emmy-winning comedy writer personally writes every speech, from $349 with 5–7 day delivery. Speechy is the best-known UK alternative, with a team of TV comedy writers and bespoke speeches around £395. Fiverr and Upwork are cheaper but a gamble. ChatGPT is free and produces a speech everyone in the room has heard before.
The rest of this page explains how I got there, including the cases where I'd point you to a competitor.
What "non-comedian" actually means for your speech
Most people giving a wedding toast, retirement speech, or roast have never written a joke in their life. That's fine. The problem is that most speechwriting help is built for writers: general ghostwriters, templates that say "insert funny story here," and AI tools that generate the same safe structure every time.
What a non-comedian needs is different. You need someone who can look at your rambling notes about your brother and find the one story that's secretly hilarious. You need jokes that sound like you, not like a comedian. And you need a structure that gets a laugh in the first 20 seconds so the room relaxes and you relax.
That's a comedy-writing skill, not a writing skill. It's why I'd rank services first by who is actually writing your speech, and only then by price.
The comparison at a glance
| Service | Who writes it | Price | Turnaround | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Funny Toast | Rick Mitchell personally — 5x Emmy winner (The Ellen DeGeneres Show), TMZ writer/producer, co-author of How to Write a Funny Speech | $349 / $599 / $999 | 5–7 days; 3–5 day rush +$75; 48-hour rush +$150 | Speeches where the laughs matter: best man, maid of honor, roasts, retirements, corporate |
| Speechy | A UK-based team of TV comedy writers led by founder Heidi Ellert-McDermott, author of The Modern Couple's Guide to Wedding Speeches | Bespoke speech around £395; edits around £195; templates from £29; AI tool around £49 | Varies by service; 48-hour option available | UK clients, couples writing joint speeches, people who want a cheaper template or edit option |
| Fiverr / Upwork | Whoever you pick. Quality ranges from excellent to copy-pasted templates. | Roughly $50–$300 | Set by the freelancer | Tight budgets, if you're willing to vet writers carefully |
| ChatGPT / AI tools | A language model | Free to ~$20/month | Instant | A first draft or outline you'll rewrite yourself |
Competitor prices are as listed on their public pages at the time of writing and may change. Check their sites for current pricing.
Funny Toast vs Speechy: the honest head-to-head
These are the two services people most often compare, because both are built around comedy writers rather than general ghostwriters. Here's how they actually differ.
Funny Toast (funnytoast.com)
Funny Toast is me, Rick Mitchell. I won five Daytime Emmys writing for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, spent more than a decade writing and producing at TMZ, do stand-up at The Improv and The Ice House, and co-wrote How to Write a Funny Speech (Chronicle Books) with Carol Leifer, with a foreword by Carol Burnett. I write every speech myself. There's no team, no junior writer, and no AI involved.
Three packages: $349 for up to 3 minutes (questionnaire-based, 1 revision), $599 for up to 5 minutes (video consultation, 2 revisions, delivery coaching notes), and $999 for up to 8 minutes (in-depth consultation, unlimited revisions, a 1-on-1 delivery coaching call). Standard turnaround is 5–7 days, with 3–5 day and 48-hour rush options.
- Written personally by a working comedy writer with television credits
- US-based, priced in US dollars
- Video consultation included at the $599 tier
- Covers weddings, roasts, retirements, corporate, bar/bat mitzvahs, eulogies
- No cheap template or AI option — it's custom writing only
- One writer means limited capacity in peak wedding season; book early
- No standalone editing service for a draft you've already written
Speechy (speechy.com)
Speechy is a UK company founded by Heidi Ellert-McDermott, a former TV producer and author of The Modern Couple's Guide to Wedding Speeches. Its writing team is drawn from British TV comedy, and it serves clients worldwide. Speechy has strong Trustpilot reviews and has been featured widely in wedding press.
Speechy's range is broader than mine: a bespoke speechwriting service (listed around £395), a speech editing service for drafts you've written yourself (around £195), delivery coaching sessions, downloadable speech templates from about £29, and SpeechyAI, an AI speech generator. It also offers vow-writing and eulogy services, and advertises a 48-hour bespoke option.
- Established team with a long track record and public reviews
- Options at every price point, from £29 templates to full bespoke writing
- Editing service if you've already got a draft
- Natural choice for UK and European weddings
- Priced in pounds; US clients pay a conversion and may see fees
- Speech is written by a team member, not the founder
- British comedic sensibility may need adjusting for an American room
Which should you pick?
- Choose Funny Toast if you're in the US, the speech needs to be funny first and foremost, and you want to know exactly who's writing it.
- Choose Speechy if you're in the UK, you want a lower-cost template or AI starting point, or you've already written a draft and just need it edited.
- Either is a good choice for a best man or maid of honor speech. Both will beat a freelance marketplace or an AI tool on quality.
What about Fiverr and Upwork?
Marketplaces are where most people start, and sometimes it works out. The problem is variance. For every genuinely good writer there are ten who'll send you a lightly edited template with your names swapped in. You can't tell which you're getting from a profile page, and by the time you find out, the wedding is Saturday.
If you go this route: pick writers with real comedy credits you can verify, ask for a sample they wrote (not a template), and budget for at least one round of fixes. Expect $50 to $300. If the budget is the constraint, a well-vetted freelancer is a reasonable option. If the speech is the constraint, it's a risk.
What about ChatGPT?
I'll be straight with you: ChatGPT can write a best man speech in ten seconds, and it won't be terrible. It'll have an opening, a story, a toast at the end. That's also the problem. It will sound exactly like the last three AI-written speeches the guests heard, because the structure and the jokes are the statistical average of every speech on the internet.
What AI can't do is know that your brother once called a telemarketer during their dinner, and that that's the line. It doesn't know what's funny about the specific person in the room. A comedy writer's whole job is finding that.
Use AI as a free first draft if you're writing it yourself. I even built a free Speech Builder for exactly that. Just know what you're getting.
Questions people ask before hiring a speechwriter
What is the best speechwriting service for someone who isn't funny?
For a funny wedding toast, roast, or retirement speech, hire a comedy writer rather than a general ghostwriter. Funny Toast is the strongest US option (every speech personally written by a 5x Emmy winner, from $349). Speechy is the best-known UK option. Fiverr and Upwork are cheaper but inconsistent, and ChatGPT is free but generic.
How much does a professional speechwriter cost?
Expect $300 to $1,000 for custom work from an experienced professional. Funny Toast is $349, $599, or $999 depending on length and consultation. Speechy's bespoke service is listed around £395. Freelancers run roughly $50 to $300.
Is Funny Toast or Speechy better?
Funny Toast if you're in the US and humor is the priority. Speechy if you're in the UK, want a lower-cost template or AI option, or need a draft edited. Both are far better than a marketplace freelancer or an AI tool.
Can ChatGPT write a good best man speech?
It can write a passable one. It can't write a memorable one, because it doesn't know the person. Use it for a first draft; hire a human for the real thing.
How far in advance should I book?
Two to three weeks is comfortable. Standard turnaround at Funny Toast is 5–7 days, and 48-hour emergency delivery exists for a reason. Peak wedding season (May through October) books up fastest.
Want the version where I write it?
Fill out the brief, tell me the stories, and I'll find the funny. Packages from $349.
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